Please note the subtle difference between the following two propositions:
P1. If Alfred has both exactly 20 mice and exactly 30 mice, then Bob has 5 mice.
P2. Alfred has both exactly 20 mice and exactly 30 mice, thus Bob has 5 mice.
Proposition P1 is true, and proposition P2 is false.
Now let us examine your argument:
a) Alfred has exactly 20 mice
b) Alfred has exactly 30 mice
c) Conclusion: Bob has 5 mice
Now the question is whether this argument corresponds to P1, which is true, or to P2, which is false.
Someone who reads your argument literally would argue that your argument corresponds to P2. You stated as a fact that Alfred had both exactly 20 and exactly 30 mice, and this is false. Thus your argument is wrong.
However, someone who has seen syllogisms before could argue that your a) and b) are not stated as facts, but as hypothesis. In this case, they would read your argument as "If a and b, then c", which corresponds to P1 and is correct.
So, whether your argument is correct or wrong is a matter of convention: if its presentation in the classical form of a syllogism implicitly leads the reader to read your a) and b) as hypothesis rather than fact, then the argument is correct; but if the presentation is not enough for the reader to understand this implicitly, then your argument is wrong.
Personally, I have a strong dislike for anything that is intentionally obscured so that it can only be read by the initiated. So I would argue that your argument would only be correct in context, i.e. within a text that first introduced the convention that arguments that are formulated like syllogisms should be understood as "if a and b, then c" rather than be read literally as "a and b, thus c".
Alternatively, you could make your argument both more explicit and entirely self-contained by indicating within the argument whether a and b are hypotheses or facts, instead of relying on a convention about syllogisms that may or may not be shared by the reader:
a) Hypothesis: Alfred has exactly 20 mice
b) Hypothesis: Alfred has exactly 30 mice
c) Conclusion: Bob has 5 mice
CORRECT
or
a) Fact: Alfred has exactly 20 mice
b) Fact: Alfred has exactly 30 mice
c) Conclusion: Bob has 5 mice
WRONG