First I am sorry if this is confusing, this is something I was thinking about as sometimes I encounter such arguments, and I was thinking if this is defined as some logical fallacy (name please).
I'll try to give an example: Very incompetent person attacks much more competent person (but not as assertive) and you step in and make points about victims performance compared to his own. Then this attacker suddenly changes into victim and calls you out that you are attacking them. What is the best reaction, besides telling them they are ridiculous?
Different yet little similar example: People complain about something very silly, irrelevant and spend a lot of time doing it, and when you try to dismiss it after thorough explanation they argue that you are same because you complain about them complaining. How witty non "it is ridiculous" counter would you chose?
I hope it makes some sense, and if you could provide some thought or article regarding this idea.