I am writing a speech which I will deliver to my fellow classmates. I wrote a paragraph which is as follows :
Your will is not free. Your will is determined by me, by society and by countrymen. For example, If I do bad to you, your will shall force you to hate me and thus I determine your will. If I do good to you, you'll do good to me, again I shall be dictating your will.
By above paragraph I want my fellow classmate to believe that they should surround themselves by good people. Many students of my class roam with hooligans and they say "when the time comes I will take a better path." I wrote the above paragraph to make them realize that your surroundings do matter. You cannot suddenly change your path.
Does this make logical sense? Is it persuasive?
Edit 1 : In the line - For example, If I do bad to you, your will shall force you to hate me and thus I determine - I orignally used ENFORCE in place of FORCE cause ENFORCE means - Compel to act. Someone edited that and replaced ENFORCE WITH FORCE. I want to learn why it was necessary to do?