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Most of people probably associate depression only with sadness, but it is a big mistake, because often there is huge drowsiness, apathy, indifference, constant physical fatigue, derealization, depersonalization, demotivation, headaches, problems with memory, concentration ... Even if someone wants to change something, sometimes they simply can not physically have the strength to do it.

It's not that i am sad. The worst thing is the lack of motivation . I really fell no motivation for anything. I do not want to eat, I dont want to sleep, walk, work, watch movies. Literally nothing. Sometimes I end up staring thoughtlessly at one point without even thinking about anything . I feel that the man simply calves with age, I see it clearly. For me the world is no longer so interesting, fascination and enthusiasm are slowly extinguishing, I became boring person. Even the vision of untimely death due to junk food, stimulants or illness does not seem so bad anymore for me.

And I fell loneliness . Loneliness that has many shades.

I fell loneliness of incomprehension - I am in a crowd of friends, family, buzz , but ... there is no one to share with my feelings, emotions. Only talks about clichés.

I fell loneliness by ignoring - I become invisible in the eyes of others. Loneliness is also when you pass several hundred people in the city center within an hour, and for each of them you are worth as much as nothing , when the only way that others perceive you is perceiving as a client as a person who counts only when you can sell something to her or get money or a favor for her.

Added to this is the feeling of my own mediocrity. I do not think anything depresses me as much as the specter of mediocrity. If you are not unique, you do not look special, you do not have exceptional talent, you were not born in a unique place, you do not have special skills or have a bigger purpose in life, you will always be just a little gray man, about whom the world will never he has heard or he will never hear. I am 24 and I am overwhelmed by the thought that nothing interesting will happen to me anymore. All the time I am the same man as before, as at the beginning of my childhood, only with more experience. Which does not help at all, because I can not enjoy the clichés like snow or nice weather, because I've seen them a lot of times.

I cant reconcile myself with the image of my own self, my own life story.

If I had any talents, could do something specific, maybe I would feel better and needed. In the meantime, I am such a gray man that it is no longer possible. The worst thing is to look into the future because where will I be in 10 years? Who will I be? A single, gray citizen the same as a million other people? I am not happy about this perspective and I am not happy about such a life. Why do I need a life consisting of going to work every day which I do not like, coming back from work, killing time with something that neither develops or amuses me, going to sleep and waking up in the morning for work.. I am constantly afraid that I will not achieve anything in my life and experience it as if I have never really lived. How, for example, to find a hobby? :

If nothing would give you fun, what would you try to do? Any hobby, occupation? Limited budget: I tried: - computer games - checkers -reding books -riding on the bike -spaces and running - putting the puzzle together -cooking -computer programming I tried many things but everything is just forcing for me. Such a compulsion that I can't really get excited about any of these activities. I do not feel completely fascinated by anything. I can't even look at a film or a show, because I feel pressured to do it. When I forced myself to do it, I accelerated it 2x to finish it faster. With books the same. Computer games too. Music does not interest me either, everything that will go, I cant choose what I like and what I do not like. As for the difference between simply killing time with entertainment and real passion: you can simply ride a bike, and you can read about new trends, be interested in bicycle parts, assemble bikes from parts yourself, repair them, exchange parts and browse with fascination new catalog Specialized bicycle parts.

Another example: If a "fan of beer" drinks because he drinks, it is not a hobby. If, however, he knows everything about beer, not just drinking it, he can brew his own beer, he differentiates beer, he knows how they arise, what is the difference between beer foam A and beer B, it is a hobby in every way. Generally, people often say that they are interested in something, and in fact, just like with this beer, they just drink it and nothing else. Well, that's what I wanted to say in a nutshell to distinguish "quasi-hobbyists" from real hobbyists. I feel the difference between a real, developing hobby (which even promotes social interactions and improving relationships between people), and a compulsive, addictive provision of instant, easy, unconditional pleasure (which you do not need to work) through various, intensified stimuli in excessive amounts. Everything that can lead (and often leads) to addiction is just such a factor. If someone actually puts together models for a long time, or spends so much time on their car that they neglect their work and relationships with relatives, then in total it could also be pulled under addiction But usually it is not. How many of you know addicts of the instrument, painting, sculpting, origami, modeling or car tuning, and how many addicts of the Internet, television, games, stimulants or gambling? And even if both of them are addicts, there is a clear difference between one and the other. Pleasures are divided into those healthy ones (creative, safe, developing, conducive to a long-lasting and stable sense of happiness) and harmful ones (dangerous, addictive, deregulating the natural chemical balance in the brain). In the first group you have, for example, professional passion, various creative hobbies (such as art creation, motorization, modeling, painting, sculpture, origami, playing the instrument, etc.), and the second group includes the Internet, television, gambling, stimulants and the like. It is a pity that I have no idea how to become a real enthusiast in any field.

I feel that I am not being helped by drugs or by the advice of psychiatrists and psychologists, motivational speakers and I do not know what to do. Would anyone have any advice for me, a solution?

closed as off-topic by Frank Hubeny, Chelonian, Joseph Weissman Jan 8 at 15:51

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    I'm afraid that any attempt to answer this could go horribly wrong, because you seem to be in need of advice or treatment by someone who actually knows you and understands you. If you have not met a therapist you "clicked" with yet, I would urge you to try to find one. It is potentially a huge undertaking and quite probably frustrating at first, but getting somebody to help you understand your situation seems like the only thing I can suggest or recommend. – tripleee Jan 8 at 12:12
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    @anlis. I sympathise with your situation. Perhaps you would obtain useful guidance from a psychology site or from one of the other sites - all of which are listed if you click on the barred, grey symbol at the far right of the panel above. I do not think your predicament can be illuminated or relieved on Philosophy Stack Exchange. I would be the first to answer if I thought it could. Best - Geoffrey – Geoffrey Thomas Jan 8 at 12:18
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    "you will always be just a little gray man, about whom the world will never he has heard or he will never hear. " Why couldn't you just as easily say "you will always be a conscious being, using the most complex piece of matter in the universe--the human brain--to experience and participate in an unimaginably diverse planet's activities"? – Chelonian Jan 8 at 15:11
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    You don't seem to need medical help, but philosophical counseling. For that, I just recommend you to... write. Writing is an excellent therapy to solve complex issues. You do it perfectly. Writing helps evolving ideas, naming problems, expressing and solving issues. You don't need to share your writings, but it's ok if you do it (e.g. a book, a blog, twitter or facebook). Write all your issues, clearly, with any words you like, as long as possible. You will see, after sleeping (that's a psychological mechanism), that your ideas will evolve. But if you feel going down, stop and ask for help. – RodolfoAP Jan 8 at 15:57
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    @anlis As economists would say, the opportunity cost of your time is negligible:There's nothing you'd be doing rather than (in your words) "staring thoughtlessly". I suggest you to volunteer & help others. I don't mean mowing some old lady's lawn. I mean actions that make a difference in people's lives.There are people who endure unwarranted tragedies, evil, abandonment. They are eager to do whatever it takes to overcome their situation, but that's hard because even God ignores them. By the time you notice the huge effect you have on their lives, you'll have found the great value of yours. – Iñaki Viggers Jan 8 at 21:43
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Firstly you appear to have already discovered that true satisfaction in life doesn't come from short lived pleasures, but from engagement in meaningful activities.

Now for an activity to be meaningful the activity needs to be (1) sufficiently challenging and complex so as to maintain full mental engagement and (2) produce "useful" results that can be used in further meaningful activities.

(1) Complexity and Challenge:

If an activity isn't sufficiently complex and challenging such that engages your full attention, your mind will have capacity to wonder and you will experience boredom.

But of course, while complexity and challenge is necessary, it is not sufficient to keep you engaged.

(2) Produce "Useful" Results

Meaningful activities must also provide benefits that allow you to explore further meaningful activities once the activity is complete, such that there are always fruits derived from your labour. This may be why you find music, checkers etc. to be boring, because as at the end of the day, it may seem as though mastering these fields doesn't appear to bring you any tangible long term benefit and thus appear to be pointless, despite the fact that these activities may be sufficiently challenging to maintain your attention in the short term.

Now with regards to how to find such activities, I will say that the capacity for engagement and complexity of many activities only becomes apparent once one commences the activity with some level of initial focus. So in many cases, one must first force themselves to start an activity and focus on it before they really become engaged with it. When one starts an activity, one may begin to discover vast complexities that they never previously imagined existed.

Secondly one must discover something in their life that they could benefit from. This is a personal choice, and I've never met anyone who couldn't do something to improve their life. Common examples include body building and physical fitness, learning to be a great cook etc. Once you find something, begin on the activity (even though initially it will be boring) and try to improve as much as you can. This process should then allow you to see the complexity in the activity which will then increase your motivation and in the process you will be deriving positive benefits from the activity.

Now the more you follow this method of living, the more skills you will acquire which will open more doors for you to engage in further fulfilling activities that otherwise may not have been possible for you. Finally you should never underestimate the personal joy and meaning that can be derived from engaging in activities that provide similar benefits to others, not just yourself.

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Really think about who the perfect person is to you. Don't just think of a superman, REALLY challenge yourself to imagine what the best possible human in your eyes would be like and work everyday to approach that image. I've been in a similar position to your own, and I got out of it by making my own goal. Just acknowledge that those feelings of I don't care and what's the point are born out of a false realization that nothing means anything. That's only the case if you as an individual give into that, you have to think about what things mean from your own perspective not just through the lens of logic. unlike math and science there is room for emotion in philosophy.

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