Some think we are, say, 70% formed by nurture and 30% nature and since together these make 100% that together they represent the totality of that from which we are formed. Others might argue for nature to be to be predominant over nurture but again the total would for them be 100%. Some would want grace to be an ingredient. My question is not whether we agree with or what we think of how these three relate to each other. My question is: is there another ingredient which I have not mentioned?
"The universe is not made up of atoms; it's made up of tiny stories" - Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Nature and nurture are not seperate, they are in dialogue, through us. Events and people hand the bricks to a child, but the child builds themselves.
"Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, because it will become your destiny." - unknown
A great deal of our perception, especially of compound things, is post hoc. A lot of our reasoning is motivated, not by open enquiry but by where we want to get or think we should get to. And there is something cumulative, a kind of inverse butterfly effect, where character is insensitivity to initial conditions, and events.
The idea of the growth mindset is an example of how a shift in story-telling style can shift behaviour, and perception of reality. Neuro-linguistic programming is also about shifting the dialogue process.
Crucially, we can choose to take up stories, to identify with archetypes or characters in them. To take up aesthetics or behaviours - like say the widespread influence of the King Arthur stories on chivalry and team decision making (round table), or Sen no Rikyu's choices and use of concepts like ichi-go ichi-e. These stories can become us, we can live and expand these stories, and their worlds.
The Buddhist perspective is that all of these stories are different kinds of karma. People often think karma is personal and essentially retributive in character. But the whole practice of Buddhism is deconstructing assumptions we have about the self, and understanding that collaboration and intersubjectivity are essential to us, to reality itself. What you do to another, you do to yourself, you make part of the world for future beings.