Your question basically: "If something cannot be defined using outside references, does that mean that such a thing does not exist? For example, Totality (supposed to mean absolutely everything including this statement)"
Thinking about your question and Totality:
A good definition for Totality is "everything". "Thing" is an accepted outside reference and "every" is an accepted concept, therefore Totality is acceptably defined.
Thinking about the first part of your question with regard to existence and definitions using outside references. The question was: "If something cannot be defined using outside references, does that mean that such a thing does not exist?
The answer is no, because "If something cannot be defined" means something exists.
The answer relates to materialism and idealism. Where do things originate from? Do material things originate from ideas or do ideas originate from matter? I do not really know whether ideas or matter existed first. Did ideas exist before humans or did humans exist before ideas? It is not advisable to prioritize idealism or materialism, because the two philosophies are interrelated. Matter influence ideas and ideas influence matter, without a doubt. Let's say ideas and matter have always existed and they are both "outside references".
I could, i.e. say intequities, the new idea exist. Another person could ask, what intequity is. If no defining follows, it will affect the existence of the new idea intequity. The word intequity (capital of ideas) was first used for research about Accounting of ideas, by combining the words 'integrity' and 'equity'. After that, "intequity" was used in business names. Using the word as names, did not define the idea, but without a doubt the businesses exist. Using references to matter and ideas thus seems to ease the defining of something new.