What is love actually? [closed]

Question

Okayyy.. this can be a bit long but if you can give satisfactory ANSWER to it... it might be very helpful to me... so the situation about me is....

1. How do you come to know if you are in love?

2. You are not sure that if you are in love or not (look the person's soul(my friend) is pure, but we think a bit differently at some points/aspects of life) and due to this.. neither you are accepting their proposals or whatever it is... nor you are saying them that you love them (cause you aren't sure, and thus you don't want to play with their feelings), and they are waiting for you to say it cause they have already said it.

3. There is something you find good to talk, to chat, to spend time with them. A one message from them can change your mood from sad to happy. And if you don't talk to them for some days(2-3), it feels like you have missed a lot of something very big part of your life. You wait (in your leisure or sometimes while doing your routine work) for your night conversations to happen, the whole day. BUT STILL, you don't see them as your future spouse for some unknown reasons.. it might be cause you both are very good at friends level, but some unknown dots seems to be missing due to which you don't take them as your spouse(idk what are those reasons exactly), but friends for the whole life ( I know this friends for the whole life situations will change at some point of them life, but this is what it is.. ) It might also be possible in future that they fall for someone else and will forget/leave you, although they feel the same for you(atleast at current moment of life or even want to you more than you want them), but still.. TILL WHEN someone would wait for you, haha!

Why there is so much of confusion? Why you don't see them as your future spouse if you are in love? Or you are just not in love? And if the situation I told you above is not love, then what it is? And if you are not in love.. then what it is to be in love, how does it feel?

Answer 1

If you are being sincere when you say "you don't see them as your future spouse for some unknown reasons" perhaps you should see a therapist to figure out what those reasons are and if they are good reasons.

Love is more than a feeling. Love is a kindly action in response to a shared connection or to a lack of a shared connection.

Answer 2

"Subtle degrees

of domination and servitude

are what you know as love

but love is different

it arrives complete

just there

like the moon in the window

like the sun

of neither east nor west

nor of any place

when that sun arrives

east and west arrive

desire only that

of which you have no hope

seek only that

of which you have no clue

love is the sea of not-being

and there intellect drowns

this is not the Oxus River

or some little creek

this is the shoreless sea;

here swimming ends

always in drowning

a journey to the sea

is horses and fodder

and contrivance

but at land’s end

the footsteps vanish

you lift up your robe

so as not to wet the hem;

come! drown in this sea

a thousand times

the moon passes over

the ocean of non-being

droplets of spray tear loose

and fall back

on the cresting waves

a million galaxies

are a little scum

on that shoreless sea."

-Rumi