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Why do I keep questioning myself; my mind and brain keep unfolding questions regarding my behaviour, constantly questioning my behaviour and intentions. Indefinitely doubt every bit and the part about myself; questioning and doubting whether am I a Hypocrite or am I faking anything or probably everything? Furthermore, sometimes, it so happens that I create images of me being in complete awkward situations, behaving rudely and being inhumane to people, even to my near and dear ones, and regrettably, I get lost in these images and feel bad and sometimes hugely depressed. And sadly, I sometimes am rude and fight in real life with those present in the images based on the imaginary scenarios I had created.

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    I don’t think this is a philosophy question. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for but this isn’t the place to find them.
    – Frog
    Commented Mar 5, 2022 at 5:03
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    The thoughts/behaviours you describe seem to be causing you significant concern and distress and may also be endangering others. Investigate professional counselling services. If you can't access them in person for any reason, there are some good resources online. Depending upon where you live, you may be able to access counselling services for free or at subsidised cost. Speak to your GP if possible. Good luck. Commented Mar 5, 2022 at 6:17
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    Philosophers usually teach that it is normally good and even desirable to be though and critical about oneself, as long as that is constructive (I am). The goal of all such criticism is to be better, strong, to grow, to never give up. But if you feel that you are losing the battle, this might produce destructive results. Just seek for professional help, I've sought it after being kidnapped, and the result was excellent: I thank life for the learning I've got from the kidnapping experience. Oh, and write what you feel and throw the papers. Such fact has a strong symbolic meaning.
    – RodolfoAP
    Commented Mar 5, 2022 at 7:20
  • Thank you @Futilitarian. Commented Mar 5, 2022 at 8:20
  • Thank you @RodolfoAP Commented Mar 5, 2022 at 8:20

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As counterintuitive as it may sound, both thoughts and actions are driven by emotions. Believing thoughts are the source of drive is a clear road to confusion and suffering. Moreover, most processing is unconscious; hence, many "thoughts" and factors influencing an action are hidden from view. When action is disjoint from thought, this means other factors, possibly beyond one's awareness, went into the action. The goal should not be to force a thought into action, but rather to dig and uncover one's deeper motivations -- especially one's repressed fears and anxieties.

Attempting to force the known thoughts into action is fighting the hidden thoughts and feelings. Doing so can result in massive cognitive dissonance. As they say, what we resist persists. Denying the existence of hidden variables will only strengthen those variables, creating a positive feedback loop of anxiety and distress.

One aspect of hidden motivation has been described by psychiatrist Carl Jung as the shadow. From Wikipedia:

In analytical psychology, the shadow (also known as id, shadow aspect, or shadow archetype) is either an unconscious aspect of the personality that the conscious ego does not identify in itself, or the entirety of the unconscious; [...] "Everyone carries a shadow", Jung wrote, "and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is."[4] It may be, in part, one's link to more primitive animal instincts,[5] which are superseded during early childhood by the conscious mind.

However you want to call it, unconscious motivations are an integral part of the human condition. Denying or fighting them is a losing battle. They key is coming to accept their existence, followed by coming to understand their wants and fears. Only once the full picture of one's drive is brought to light, is one ready to find peace and consistency of action and mind.

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I am not a trained behavioral health practitioner, but from your description of your symptoms you could be in the early stages of schizophrenia. Philosophy cannot help you here; Futilitarian is right- it is imperative that you seek out medical assistance as soon as you can, because with help you can get better and stop suffering. Best of luck to you. -NN

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