Timeline for How can I maintain integrity when requested to use gender pronouns yet still be loving?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
10 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jan 29, 2020 at 19:11 | comment | added | Ted Wrigley | @Mr.Boy — Aren't you though? Just because your position is passive doesn't make it any less aggressive. If I stand in the middle of a hallway, arms akimbo, and refuse to move, I am forcing people to walk around me or turn back, even though I am not doing anything active. You are clinging to a principle and de facto (pardon the ironic phrasing) c**k-blocking something important to these people. But you're right, there's probably no immediate answer. The extremes are always an irresistible force pressing against an immovable object, while the center inches its way along... | |
| Jan 29, 2020 at 18:33 | comment | added | Mr. Boy | @TedWrigley I'm not forcing them or even encouraging them to change how they act so I don't think that's entirely accurate. But the wider point of colliding worldviews is entirely valid. There may be NO answer | |
| Jan 24, 2020 at 22:36 | comment | added | Gordon | @Mr.Boy You say it prickles your conscience but today this is largely fashion. You know to get attention and to have some forbidden fun. We need to do what they did in the old days, and even today, and confine this to Mardi Gras and the weekend before. Yes there are some people where there is the true mental and physical need to be the other sex. But for the majority it’s just fashion and the Catholics had the right idea with Mardi Gras. Do whatever you want, and then stop and suffer over it for 40 days, then endure the drudgery until the next year. | |
| Jan 23, 2020 at 16:47 | comment | added | user38026 | but also apt @TedWrigley | |
| Jan 23, 2020 at 15:09 | comment | added | Ted Wrigley | @another_name — The fact I'm not spelling things out in philosophical jargon doesn't imply that I'm not working from a philosophy. But you're right: this whole question is probably a poor fit for this site. A bit too 'Ask Amy'... It would seem odd to suddenly burst out with (say) a Heideggerian take on gender identity. | |
| Jan 23, 2020 at 15:04 | comment | added | Ted Wrigley | @Mr.Boy — 'Validation' is a tricky thing. You may not want to validate an act, or intention, or idea; I can understand that. But if you don't validate the person involved, then you are guilty of objectification. Maybe if you sit down with your friend and have a long talk about why you refuse to use the preferred pronouns you can come to some compromise that your conscience will bear. But you'll both have to give some ground. | |
| Jan 23, 2020 at 14:59 | comment | added | user38026 | this is sound advice, but it's probably not philosophy. | |
| Jan 23, 2020 at 14:58 | comment | added | Ted Wrigley | @Mr.Boy — This is the eternal problem of perspective. You complain about being forced to abide by your friend's preferred form of address; Your friend (I'm sure) will complain about being forced to abide by your standards. It's become a competitive mode where the only options left are surrender or fighting. Do the people you mentioned with married gay friends refuse to acknowledge that these friends are legally married? That would make for some fun dinner parties... | |
| Jan 23, 2020 at 9:56 | comment | added | Mr. Boy | Thanks Ted. I'm not sure I totally agree with the argument I must act as they request to be friends, as a parallel example I know people who are opposed to gay marriage who have gay (married) friends. I would debate "using this pronoun or that is a matter of no practical consequence" too. My concern is that by doing so, I am implicitly validating that position and feel I'm lying to myself (I have tried this approach out of love for my friend but it prickles my conscience). Further if my friend knows I am speaking contrary to what I believe, wouldn't they rightly be upset? | |
| Jan 22, 2020 at 20:31 | history | answered | Ted Wrigley | CC BY-SA 4.0 |