I want to say that your friend follows egoism, which is defined by the IEP as "the theory that one’s self is, or should be, the motivation and the goal of one’s own action." The problem is that the majority of egoists in the majority of cases would return a borrowed object. The reason is simple, the long-term harms of being known as a theft would outweigh the short-term benefit of keeping the object. The idea that cooperation has such large long-term benefits and such small short-term costs that people should almost always cooperate is fundamental to egoism because without it, egoists cannot explain why people should follow basic morality laws, such as do not steal, do not murder, etc.
Your fiend seems to be doing something different. He seems to be saying that because you accepted that there was a risk associated with your action [i.e. you may not get the object back], other people are not responsible for compensating you a negative outcome of that action. The only thing I know that even resembles this line of reasoning is the legal doctrine "assumption of risk". I am no lawyer, but I know that assumption of risk does not apply to this situation for a number of reasons, not the least being that we are talking about morality and not legality.
Honestly, my best guess is that your friend does not have a defendable position and is using a weak argument to justify their actions. You could try pressing them on it, asking that since talking so someone carries the risk that the other person could respond with violence, would it be morally acceptable for you to punch them in the face. When they inevitably deny this, press them on why some risks, like those associated with lending an object, exempt people from liablity for their actions while other risks, like those associated with having a conversation, do not.
So if you don't get it back, that's a reasonable thing." So he is claiming he is correct if he does not return something, because there "should be" risk involved for lending something.
Well... there's also a risk in not giving something back that was lent. That risk is, you smash their kneecaps in. Is it reasonable, then, to smash his kneecaps? That dude sounds decidedly unreasonable to me.