When I was younger, I always tried to imagine how my future would be, and how it would feel like. I tried to imagine how my relationships would be, how my house would be, what my job would be, etc., and I tried to feel a different sensation, a good sensation of living and enjoying those moments.
Years passed. I changed, I accomplished things. But I don't feel that great sensation that I was expecting. In fact, I think of my past and I feel good sensations about it, as if I was alive back in that time, and that now I'm not.
So what's the problem here? Am I expecting too much from life? Am I expecting to feel things that simply don't exist? Or am I "broken" somehow?
For example, I already thought that using technology "broke" me: playing video games or simply spending too many hours working in front of the computer made me stop appreciating the real life, and now I can't connect back to what is real.
I also thought that the fact that I'm always worrying about the future makes me stop appreciating the present: I'm always thinking about what I'm going to do next. I'm rarely thinking of what I'm doing NOW. I often say to my wife that "feels like I'm never here. My body is here, but my mind is always, always somewhere else".
I could go on and on with details and examples. But basically my question is: is there a way to feel alive, feel like we're living the moment? Are you like that? Or are you like me?
Just some complementary info: I AM happy. I'm not depressed or anything. I have people and things that make me very happy, but it's not about that. It's simply about feeling the present moment. I want to know if it's possible to enjoy every second of the present moment, instead of thinking how nice the past was or how cool the future could be.
I'm curious to know what are your opinions and experiences. Thank you!