Short Answer
The answer to your question somewhat depends on your philosophy of mathematics. Your observation that there seems to be particulars and universals in numbers and other math ideas goes back to Plato whose thinking is still widely influential among mathematicians. Ultimately your question is ontological, because it asks about the nature of the being of numbers. We can use mathematical formalism as an example of how someone might provide a specific answer to the question of 'Are the 2's in 2+2 the same?'
Long Answer
The question you ask is a fundamental question in the philosophy of mathematics. 'What are numbers?', 'What are shapes?', etc. don't have simple answers like addition problems. For a Platonic thinker, individual numbers we use in discourse are imperfect copies of Forms. For a formalist, a number is simply a symbol that is defined by other symbols and neither really has much in the way of meaning. A mathematical structuralist defines a number in systems of relations, for instance, appealing to Peano's Axioms to define the natural numbers. In computer science, which lends itself to mathematical constructism, mathematical objects are objects instantiated from classes by constructors. All of these are examples of how one number might be considered an instance of something more general.
What you should take away from the response is that there is no broadly accepted consensus to your question with philosophers of mathematics taking a wildly diverse array of positions. According to J.R. Lucas, pure mathematicians are said to gravitate towards platonic thinking (SEP) which holds that there is another physical-like realm our minds are in touch with. Note, that once you begin talking about our universe, our minds, and other universes of discourse, you are firmly in philosophical territory. On the other end of the spectrum, mathematics can be taken to be intuitional as argued by Brouwer or empirical as argued by Mill.
On the other end of the spectrum, recent arguments from embodied cognition such as those made by Lakoff and Nuñez in Where Mathematics Comes From reject Platonic thinking entirely, and essentially argue that Platonic thinking is nothing more than arguments built on the fallacy of reification.
My personal biases are to reject Platonic thinking as unscientific in the empirical sense. Until someone sends a probe to the Realm of Forms and shows me some false-color images of these forms, I presume they have connected to the brain much in the same way data types are related to microprocessors. Whether or not that fits your Weltanschaung is a matter for you to decide. But whatever your decision, be skeptical of anyone who is sure they have the one, true answer. They're more likely to be true-believer than a critical thinker. In modern epistemology, fallibilism is the broadly held consensus.
Formalist Example of How 2's Are the Same and Different Simultaneously
Are the 2's in 2+2 the same? Maybe. Let's see what a formalist would say.
I see you are interested, from the comments on user4894's response in multisets. Here we can give an example of how a formalist might provide a response to your question 'Are we adding the same number in 2 + 2, or are they somehow different?'.
First, note the existence of the sequence of naturals by intuition (0,1,2,...). At this point, we have an intuitive sense that 2 is defined as the cardinality of a set such as {a,b}, but a formalist goes a step further and looks to justify the existence of all naturals N and explain how 2's can be the same and different at the same time. This can be accomplished with Peano's Axioms (PA).
Briefly, there are a few rules we can use to define N. We can assume 0 exists. We can assume a successor function exists, written as (x), so that 1:=(0), that is, 1 follows 0. Then, 2 is simply the successor of 1, or (1), which by definition is also ((0)), and so on. Now, addition is simply defined as the sum being nothing but the addend defined as the successor of the adder. Hence, 2 + 2, is ((x)):x=((0)) where 2+2 is equivalent to ((((0)))) which is a good thing, because by definition, the fourth successor of 0 is 4! Now note, technically speaking, 2+2 can be abstracted as a sequence itself: (2,2). But even though both the first 2 and the second 2 are ((0)) by PA, they are not the same 2 when considering order. In fact, implicit in (2,2) is the idea that (2,2) is really (2,2*). How so? Because any sequence by definition is a set mapped onto the naturals, that is, we can pair (2,2*)->(0,1).
So, are they the same? Yes, both 2's in 2+2 are defined as ((0)). Are they different? Yes, both 2's occur in different locations of the sequence (2,2*). So they are the same and different. This seems like a contradiction, but we simply have to provide context, an idea that is important in a logical concept known as dialetheism.
Now, one might ask, are there rules for what we just did, and for a long time, mathematicians struggled to find them. But following Frege's original goals in formalism, ZF was introduced. This is called 'grounding set theory' in logic and is an example of mathematical foundationalism. In fact, we might not want to use ZF but prefer ZFC instead. Or maybe NBG is even a better foundation. Some eschew sets and look towards category theory. Important to our discussion is that we are following some formal rules.
Remember that successor function we presumed? It's an instance of the axiom of infinity. Are we allowed to differentiate the two 2's? Sure, as long as we accept things have order and the axiom of extensionality holds. This idea in mathematical logic is known as grounding, where we show that one set of mathematical truths used to prove things, like arithmetic, is contained or grounded in the another set of mathematical truths that prove that our first set doesn't create any contradictions.