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Is it because our only purpose in the universe is to mate and die?

This was a critical question for me growing up, and it bothers me that I still can't answer it.

On TV, Michael Jackson's sister showed one of her breasts for 1 second at the Super Bowl, and they fined the network a more than half a million dollars.

I have two of them. Am I twice as bad?

Or are they worth over a million?

Half the country pretends that sex education is promoting sex, even though every child can go to pornhub on their telephone. That's how scared of it they are.

What are they scared of?

Why should a whole population think mating is shameful?

Since sex is harmless and free and wonderful; how come it's bad?

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  • ...but everyone acts like it's horrible... except when doing it themselves? ...it's wonderful and magical and joyful every major world religion you can examine differs significantly (and somewhat divergently) on this.
    – Rushi
    Commented Oct 31 at 6:29
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    obviously you've never been to amsterdam. you need spaces for pornography (and indeed sex) to ensure consent etc.. why does sexual ethics rely on 'consent' more than e.g. the law in general (the war on drugs, e.g..)? i tend to think of sexuality as a uniquely human thing, what re/makes us as humans, and maybe that has to involve consent in a way that e.g. the reefer and its responses do not
    – user83551
    Commented Oct 31 at 6:41
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    Taboo: is a social group's ban, prohibition, or avoidance of something (usually an utterance or behavior) based on the group's sense that it is excessively repulsive, offensive, sacred, or allowed only for certain people. Such prohibitions are present in virtually all societies. Taboos may be prohibited explicitly, for example within a legal system or religion, or implicitly, for example by social norms or conventions followed by a particular culture or organization.
    – Mauro ALLEGRANZA
    Commented Oct 31 at 6:48
  • You think your culture is better than all other cultures?
    – David Gudeman
    Commented Oct 31 at 7:01
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    @Miss_Understands I don’t think any sex worker enjoys sex work for the simple reason that women aren’t evolved to fuck tons of random men without an impact to their mental health. I think this is partially due to a) social roles, b) the ease by which women can have sex so not something to be proud about, and c) evolutionary reasons since most polygamous relationships were one man multiple women, and I believe the case is similar in the animal kingdom
    – Syed
    Commented Oct 31 at 11:14

4 Answers 4

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It is a shameful hangover from christianity- the result of centuries during which people have been socially conditioned by bigotry and superstition under the name of religion. Surprisingly we still allow religious schools, masses broadcast by the BBC, bishops sitting in the House of Lords, etc. I feel my blood pressure spiking at the thought of it all.

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  • Ah so you would prefer to take lovemaking lessons from Hollywood over the Bible 😉
    – Rushi
    Commented Oct 31 at 7:05
  • @Rushi either source seems equally laughable
    – Frog
    Commented Oct 31 at 10:14
  • While Christian Churches took on the role of moral authority in western society and thus helped enforce the taboo, I would not give them "credit" to coming up with that concept. I don't think societies in general are known to have been any more liberal before Christianization. Same for China. Rather they could get blamed for certain escalations of the taboo.
    – tkruse
    Commented Oct 31 at 13:21
  • @tkruse agreed. There were plenty of taboos around and the church perpetuated some and not others.
    – Professor Sushing
    Commented Oct 31 at 13:30
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As @mauro-allegranza indicated in a comment, this is related to the mechanisms of taboo. Taboos aren't predominantly coming from a christian tradition, that's only the skewed observation when you live in a society with a mostly christian history. Other cultures have similar and sometimes wildly different taboos.

One possible anthropological explanation for taboos around sexuality can be found in the development of agriculture when inheritable ownership of land became a thing. Land owners would like to make sure that their land is inherited by their biological children, which makes (asymmetrical) control over sexual relationships more important.

In our modern society, the effects of enforcing taboos are sometimes absurd, as you notice. Bronze age traditions should be questioned for their universal relevance, and possibly re-interpreted in a changed society. What this would mean for our culture(s) is something that we need to work out, there will always be some level of disagreement about which rules should still be observed and which ones could be ditched.

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Of course, religion is a factor. But why do some religious traditions find the open display of sexuality to be shameful?

Plausibly, it's because of jealous lovers. A wife does not want her husband cheating on her, because this could lead to her husband being less devoted to her and to their children, providing less affection and fewer resources for them, and more devoted to the other woman he's seeing. If public display of sexuality is considered shameful, the husband would have fewer temptations and opportunities to cheat. Like the Dolly Parton song, Jolene, in which she is worried about an attractive woman tempting her husband - "I'm begging of you, please don't take my man."

Similarly, the husband does not want his wife cheating on him, for the same reason and also because he might end up raising children who don't share his genes. So he wouldn't want her showing off to other men either, though he might be indifferent or approving of other women doing so.

Open sexuality might also lead to more teen pregnancies, especially in times before easy access to contraceptives. Those times were also poorer times, so the woman and her child could have a very hard life as a result, especially if the young and irresponsible father does not help.

There is also the concern of spreading STDs, again more important in times before access to condoms and antibiotics.

So there are some reasons why people would want to suppress sexuality except under controlled circumstances. Some of these reasons are, in part, cultural holdovers from earlier times. In modern times, with modern contraceptives and medical knowledge as well as greater social support systems, some of these reasons are less relevant.

We also must balance these concerns against the individual right of men and women to do with their bodies as they please. If one person wants a second person to hide their sexuality, what obligation does this create (if any) for the second person to do so? It's their body.

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It's really not hard to understand:

  • Sex with your spouse: Good
  • Sex with someone that's not your spouse: Bad
  • Lusting after someone who is not your spouse: Bad (see New Testament)
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  • is it the case that, for Christians, asexuality is generally frowned upon, because there is no torment there, in not lusting after others, no sense of temptation overcome?
    – user83551
    Commented Oct 31 at 8:15
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    @local There is, in some denominations, a tradition of celibate, thinks priests, monks, nuns. So No. If asexuality is frowned upon in a particular denomination, I'd say it has more to do with one of the first commandments given to every living being, including humans, to be fruitful and multiply. It's hard to speak for Christians in general, Christianity is very diverse.
    – kutschkem
    Commented Oct 31 at 8:43
  • Btw. Hiding dirty magazines behind a counter is not universal at all. In my country that is not the case. They do keep cigarettes in cages though :-)
    – kutschkem
    Commented Oct 31 at 8:45
  • Re, "It's really not hard to understand." If that's true, then it probably is not a suitable topic for a philosophy forum. Philosophers prefer to discuss topics that are hard to understand.
    – Solomon Slow
    Commented Oct 31 at 13:54

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